My five-year old is in the midst of a major crisis. This was how our car conversation went the other day:

“Mommy, Micah says Santa doesn’t exist, so he’s NOT real. But we still need to leave milk and cookies for him, right?”

I peeked at his big brown eyes through the rearview mirror. His little heart yearns to hold on to the magic, but the inescapable pull of growing up is looming just around the corner. 

Aren’t we all holding on to the magic just a moment longer?

I think this is why many of us are enamoured with the Christmas feels: the scents and the tastes, the giddy anticipation of wrapping and unwrapping. We love the Christmas lights and cute ornaments. Don’t even get me started with the seasonal coffee flavours! 

Before long, the inevitable Christmas rush settles in. The calendar fills up quickly with parties and school concerts. Packages start to arrive at the door and need to be wrapped or hidden before curious little people get into them.

The mama in me wants to create a magical experience for my kids, to bake all the cookies and make all the crafts and go to all the parties. I know that I am living in the midst of my kids’ future “good old days”, so I feel the tug to make great memories.

But saying ‘yes’ to all things comes at a cost.

Without safe guarding my family’s peace, we’ll get lost in the rat race of trying to do it all. By the time Christmas actually arrives, our minds will be too foggy and our bodies exhausted. In searching for Christmas magic, we can lose sight of the Christmas miracle.

I’m not saying we need to turn into the Grinch and (not) party like it’s 2020. But I think we need to embody that important ‘yes’ we heard at the first Christmas over 2000 years ago. 

Mary welcomed the coming of Emmanuel, God-with-us. She waited for the Messiah with peaceful anticipation. In her canticle found in Luke 1:46, she exclaims, “My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior.” 

I’m drawn to two things in particular: Soul and Spirit. The Catechism describes human beings as having a soul and a spirit: the soul gives life to our body and our spirit transcends our physical limitations and opens us to the supernatural. 

In Mary’s words, I realize that the Christmas nostalgia that I was yearning for is not found in the pomp and circumstance of doing and making and celebrating. Perhaps it is the soul and the spirit that I need to pay heed to. Perhaps the joy already exists, and I need to take my hands off the wheel, trying to strong arm a picture-perfect Christmas.

In order to alleviate the pressure to do it all, we need to find a rhythm that works for our families. 

We can continue many of our family traditions, or we may choose to take a break as needed. We need to be intentional with what we say yes to, so that we can more fully pay attention to the care of our soul and spirit. 

One way we can care for our spirit is to seek wisdom this Christmas. 

Many Nativity sets often include figures of the Magi, otherwise known as the three Wise Men. Scripture records them saying, “‘Where is the newborn king of the Jews? We saw the rising of his star, and we have come to pay him homage.’” (Matthew 2:2)

They enter the Christmas story seeking Christ, and bringing gifts that affirm His identity. How many of us enter into Christmas sincerely seeking the newborn King? Thankfully for us, we have access to the giver of the gift of wisdom: The Holy Spirit!

Where can we invite the Holy Spirit to guide us as we discern the next right thing? As we look towards the start of a new year, which areas of our life do we need to revisit and invoke the Holy Spirit’s guidance? Can we set some time aside to pray for an outpouring of Spirit-filled wisdom in our schools, in our hospitals, in our government and in our homes? Perhaps there are people in your life whose wisdom you admire, in the way they’ve shaped their careers and/ or nurtured their families. If your schedule (and sanity) permits, reach out and invite them for some hot cocoa and marshmallows.  

Instead of blasting Christmas music 24/7, another way to seek wisdom is by learning from Christ-centered sources. Some of my favourites include the Advent Book Study from Abiding Together and Tsh Oxenreider’s Shadow & Light Advent Devotional. Alternatively, maybe some silence is needed if you’ve been subjected to constant noise.  


To care for the soul, become a student of the people around you.  

I’ve been scouring my brain for novel ideas for Christmas presents for my kids. We’ve been blessed with more than enough, so there isn’t necessarily anything that they need. Then I realized what I truly wanted to convey in giving a good gift: I know you, and I celebrate you.

During Black Friday and Boxing Day sales, I often find myself painstakingly finding the best deals, comparing store prices and product features. I’ll admit that finding great deals is my Achilles’ heel, but I realized that I was spending more time studying the thing as opposed to the person who will be using or receiving the thing. For me, finding deals is time consuming and downright addictive. I get consumed by the thrill of the discount, losing sight of the people behind the items - including myself.

If the soul, or anima in Latin, gives us life and animates our bodies, then we need to consider what is life-giving whenever we are giving gifts (including to ourselves). This year, instead of buying new toys and gadgets, I thought about the young little dreamers my children are becoming with their passions and interests slowly unfolding. I want to celebrate their personalities so I’m thinking about using thrifted tool boxes to house some tools of their trade as “Chief Scientist”, “Chief Architect” and “Chief Designer” of a “company” I’ll invent. They’re all under six years old, so the Dollar Store, the thrift store, and our garage will provide plenty of fun tools to delight their little hearts. Nothing fancy or extravagant; just a simple way to let them know that I love the person they are becoming and I celebrate them with gladness. 

For our Advent calendar this year, instead of just chocolates and little trinkets, we added the tradition of praying for our people. I gave each kid a handful of blank sheets that they can fill out with a name or a family that they love. Each day we pray for preschool classmates, godparents, and neighbours. It takes the focus away from just opening something for us to enjoy; and points our hearts toward people in our lives we can bless, even without them knowing. I think the more we know others, the better we know ourselves. 

Part of the reason Christmas becomes overwhelming for me is the excess of stuff. Instead of asking Marie Kondo’s famed question, “does it spark joy?”, ask instead: “does it bring life?”. The challenge in gift-giving should be in being a good student of the people around us. One way to get to know people better is to discover their love language. With that knowledge, we can more carefully consider which gifts convey that that you know and celebrate them. 

This Christmas, like Mary and the Magi, may we all anticipate the coming of our Messiah and seek Him with our hearts.